The Stupidity of Old People

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“Old lady judges watch people in pairs
Limited in sex, they dare
To push fake morals, insult and stare…”

~ Bob Dylan

By writing this blog, I mean no disrespect to the elderly in general. Many of my friends are older than me and my dear oldest friend is in his late 50s; let’s call him Don. I met him on my first Carnival Cruise back in 2006 and him and I have a lot in common – particularly travel, enjoying life and women. Not very many men his age can say they are enjoying life the way he is and still has an exuberant lifestyle. Many people his age and older who attend nightclubs snagging young twat can look ridiculous. But this depends on how a person takes care of themselves. How many motherfuckers 50 and beyond can still move around like Mick Jagger? Hence, there’s a song entitled Moves Like Jagger – which got on my nerves so bad. While it is true that old people have been in the world longer than myself, therefore have more world experience, there are other exceptions. Just because a person has grey hairs and walk funny does not imply they know what they are talking about, let alone worthy of respect. I believe respect is earned. I say this for the fact that just because a person is old does not imply they understand your struggles, your generation and your life’s purpose. I’ve heard men accuse women of being “dream killers”. But what of the elderly who are also “dream killers”? Why would they kill your dream? Is it because they may be jealous of your youth or do they actually have a point?

The problem I have with the elderly is that they belittle youth for doing what they used to ages ago, when they actually could or had the balls to. Though it is natural, like being scared of death, our elders were once rebellious and riddled with angst. Hell, some were promiscuous in their hey-day, like us (though certain sex acts probably didn’t exist way back then). As they decline, they shudder at the sight of young women in the nightlife wearing knee-high boots, fishnets and tight booty shorts. Like religious fanatics and moral high-grounders, they are quick to make contemptuous remarks regarding things they care not to see publicly – even though there was a time they’ve conducted themselves the same way or they keep their skeletons in closets. My favorite remark is “You see that heifer right there? These are the last days we’re living in.” Talk about self-righteous… or perhaps it’s natural that when a person discovers their time on Earth is almost up, they want to clear their resume before they possibly meet their maker. I heard hell is a real shitty place to be, right? (Someone told me even the most ornery person trying to repent turns to religion as quick kids going gaga over a possible trip to Disneyland.)

Again, I am not generalizing. Many old people who I have come across, like religious fanatics and moral high-grounders, are obsessed with being right. As Paul Arden once said “It’s wrong to be right.” Being right is based on past knowledge, which worked generations ago. This does not imply that it works today. Plus, being right has a tone of morality about it, which is boring as fuck. If you cannot change with the times, life will kick your ass. Of course, shit, I remember when gas used to be $1.07 a gallon. With the cost of living changing several times annually, why complain about how things used to be during “The good old days”? What good will that do you, or the people you’re trying to rub your fake morals off on today?

With age comes experience, providing a person has the wherewithal and the guts to go out in the world and never-mind the “know-it-alls”. With that said, maybe I should rather say “With balls comes experience”. My grandmother brags about a lady who lived to be 103, saying that person only lived a long life by hiding away from the world and never going out unless it was for groceries. What the hell kind of life is that?! I certainly agree we all could learn things about our ancestry through a person who was around in a time where humanity was arguably more turbulent. But pertaining to the “I was young before, too” argument, times change. So that argument is weak to a degree. Back in the 1950s, the highlight of American youth was probably skating to Elvis and frequenting drive-in fast food joints. Those don’t exist anymore (unless you want to bring up Sonic’s and select A&W restaurants). Most American teenagers nowadays are already promiscuous, experimenting with drugs, willing to verbally attack anyone who tries to get in their way and developing faster than One Hour Photo (which also does not exist anymore, thanks to modern technology).

As the average person ages, they become too set in their ways. They are not willing to go along with the times. Then again, do they have a reason to, as they decline and cannot get around as much as they could before they turned sixty? Don admitted to me that he could never get with a woman over 40. Not because of the stereotype that when a woman turns 40, her beauty and sex drive decreases (which I think is preposterous), but as he put it, “They get too set in their ways.”

I do believe it is shameful that, in certain instances, the elderly are not held in regard by some ignorant, young people who are too caught up in modern-day bullshit to the point to where they could care less about history, or learning historic lessons from the elderly, who can actually tell them stories about how things used to be; which could possibly teach this new generation to be more respectful for all things vital, let alone thankful for their freedoms their grandparents and previous generations did not have. After all, our elders fought certain battles that we did not have to, so we can have certain luxuries and rebellious choices today. As I’ve said before, the problem with this new generation is that we’ve become too tired to be freedom fighters. There is no way we could have made it back in the civil rights movements at the rate we are going. Yes, we do rebel, but we rebel over stupid shit. We fight, not because we have to, but to build a temporary name. At the same time, years ago, when my mother discovered my online dating antics (which I still engage in), she would run to her older aunt and my grandmother, putting them in my fucking business and asking for their advice on internet dating (which internet ads are just like the newspaper ads of yesterday). What the fuck are you asking them for? They don’t know? They probably don’t know the difference between the internet and a fucking Playstation! That’s like asking a natural-born quadriplegic how it feels to go bungee-jumping. Is that a joke?!

In an emotional and physical stance, I agree with most people that you do not fuck with the elderly, just like you wouldn’t fuck with women, children and the handicap, as they are seen as defenseless. Unfortunately, people fuck with children every day. Jokes are made towards the handicap. People fuck with women every day, although some women bring it on themselves. Women get away with shit children can never get away with, I’ve said this before. Children get spankings that women do not get (unless we’re speaking in terms of BDSM-laced sexual gratification). Otherwise, a man who punches a woman in the mouth, even if it were labeled as “self-defense”, may do jail time. At the same time, people who are seen as “defenseless” play people for idiots. They assume there will be no reprisal, simply because they ARE defenseless. “I know I poisoned your dog, but I’m old!” “But I’m just a kid!” “But I’m a woman! So, give me a free pass!” But as Chris Rock jokingly stated, “…there’s a reason to kick an old man down a flight of stairs. You just don’t do it. Ain’t nobody above an ass-whooping.”

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