The Delayed Spring… Delayed Gratification


Delayed gratification occurs either due to genetic-infused procrastination, self-inflicted procrastination or because some retards may believe that one day, it will all either fall from the skies. For myself, the world has just started to open up for me, as I am approaching thirty.

For most men, their twenties are supposed to be the decade of defining themselves or working towards their own excellence. Within the past several years, I have had various men of various ethnicities and ages tell me that they did not know what it took to be a man until they hit thirty-something, or close to that arena. This is the time when some men I know had decided to take charge or their destinies or found their passions, if they had not done so already, for whatever reason. The blame may be placed on absent fathers, mothers who are clueless on how to groom their sons or the aftermath of conformity. I know too many people my age and younger who have constantly changed their majors in college because they were clueless, for years, on what they wanted to do for a living. Some who have college degrees find themselves unhappy with their careers and discover themselves going back to college to obtain papers in another major. These people who I know personally are already approaching thirty and have extra mouths to feed.

Fortunately for me, I do not have that problem, because I have sworn to myself that the whole wife-and-kids routine just was not for me. Neither was conformity. Although lots of my peers would love to be in my shoes (a single bachelor who makes the most of being in business for himself), I also have wasted several years trying to find myself. I’ve also delayed my own gratification and missed a few golden opportunities. By my own admission. Most of those opportunities were in regards to sex with several beautiful ladies nationwide and, hell, even two job opportunities (I thought of doing some blue-collar work for a major food company down in South Florida, but I can say I am happy that I turned it down, due to all of the racially-motivated injustices in Florida).

Truth is, tomorrow is never promised. This is one reason why I despise the hell out of authority figures, conformity-preachers and religious zealots, selling the idea that as long as we delay our own gratification (which implies, in this case, that we free ourselves from “sin” – no drugs, alcohol, premarital casual sex, etc.), we will make it to some kind of afterlife or, if we are lucky, have the chance to be reincarnated. Meanwhile, life passes us by and we realize that we can either do something or watch other folks do what we could have did. This is figured out once all or a portion of our youth has passed away. I am reminded of a friend of mine whose mother passed away when he told me that most people do not realize that they are on borrowed time until someone close to them passed away. After telling him that I wasted time falling in love, he goes on to say the following:

“You can either do everything you choose or watch someone else do them.
But since you were so drunk from fear and procrastination, you have lost
your youth and you’ve gained a PhD in a useless, wasted life.”

Two remarkable golden opportunities I have missed dealt with two women (one of who I still remain friends with to date). As I’ve mentioned before here, I missed a sexual opportunity with one married Asian woman who craved me so much that we engaged in sexting while she was at work, alone in her office or away from her husband. Another dealt with an Egyptian/Latin woman who called me twice at 3AM for a booty call, plastered and suggesting that I had come over. Me being as lazy as I was back then, I missed out. Sure, there are just several more sexual opportunities that I have missed, in addition to my not taking certain job opportunities because of the fear of job instability and my deep-seated hatred for working for others. Some mornings, I wake up with it in my soul and this is the result of my booting myself in the ass for being so pathetic. However, this makes me even more determined to never allow any more life pass me by. I come to terms that delayed gratification is for losers. At the same time, depending on how a man carries himself, life really begins for men who are approaching their thirties. I revisit the scenery of things that I have engaged in and though it gets better with time, I could not ask for anything more noble.

But now, I can say that I do have it better than most guys I know or younger. Another culprit for delayed gratification deals with a generation of men who are reducing themselves to Mama’s Boys – males who spend time seeking the approval of women, as well as irrelevant societal zealots, religious fanatics and others who claim to have “their best interests”. That, however, makes for another blog topic.

Abstaining from sex is one of the greatest forms of delayed gratification. You can save yourself for “the right one”, but are you sure that it will ever occur? And when it does, will that person be everything to you? Never allow anyone to make you feel guilty about instant gratification. Because time is our greatest enemy. Why is that? Because time does not last forever.

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