Advocatus Diaboli rightfully likened LTRs to the “three card monte” game – where there’s an unseen (third) party who not only has a say on how relationships should be, but who also give women the upper hand over men. He fairly says by entering a LTR, you’re bound to be in the midst of playing “calvinball”, where you’re playing for fun, rather than playing to win.
But I’ve come up with an even more painful and disturbing analogy on “serious” relationships. Are you ready?
My cynical take on LTRs and matrimonial unions (anything more than polygamy, booty calls, FWB/NSA and escort-client based relationships) brings me to the conclusion that they are more similar to “Russian Roulette” than we’d like to admit. For those of you who prefer a visual on how “Russian Roulette” is played, stream or download Michael Cimino’s 1978 war movie, The Deer Hunter.
Imagine two people, sitting across from eachother. Behind them is an echelon of gamblers, betting on who will dodge the bullet and who won’t. They can be friends, foes or even lovers. The last thing the unlucky player sees before losing the game and emptying the chamber in their head is their opponent.
In the game of “love”, people die every day. “Love” dies every day. And it’s not always thanks to traditional wedding vows, or better yet “natural causes”. Yet, it goes unreported. The person who caught the bullet doesn’t necessarily have to die. The relationship, or it’s intensity, heat or the sexual chemistry could have died. Ultimately, the inevitable arc of all “serious” relationships is either death (murder, suicide, or depression), disaster, disappointment, neglect, cynicism or someone’s life being made tragic. Other times, the opponent who dodged the bullet moves on to new ventures. The person who took the bullet watches helplessly as their love dies, if they aren’t dying from a broken heart themselves. If somehow a person is lucky enough to be alive after taking the bullet, they recuperate amid exile before recovering back to their natural selves.
There’s a reason for the saying “love is blind”. In spite of the hardcore concrete evidence written in stone, people still play Russian Roulette; a game of self-infliction. Like gambling and sports, people assume that because they’ve won the previous round (by dodging bullets), they will win every time… that is, until it’s time to play again. Which even if someone wins, look at the rapid heartbeats, psychological turmoil, goading, tears shed, fear and bouts of prayer endured – just so that love will last? Or so you will make it out unscathed and intact?
You see, you can play Russian Roulette all you want (either with one opponent or various types until you find “the right opponent”). But there’s a 50/50 chance you will become the perennial loser in the game of love. Or you can simply avoid it, rather than fucking up your life… while the other player watches, innately relieved they dodged the bullet. Gender irrelevant, people get played because of their delusion of immunity from society’s BS. For every woman turned bitter after being “pumped and dumped”, there’s a man whose death arose from a woman’s neglect.
Now of course some jackass retard relationship ‘expert’ will sell another fairy-tale by saying “make better choices and save yourself for Mrs. Right”. They are too ‘slow’ to realize something: It’s not about the choice of partner, but rather the rules. The same inevitable arc can occur with a ‘respectable’, ‘God-fearing’ matrimonial-minded partner, as much as it can with a ‘loser’, a ‘whore’ or neighborhood matchstick men and attention-seekers.
They are no different from the drama queens who goad men with the usual “he wasn’t strong enough to handle me”. What they don’t get is that the system is rigged against men – black men especially – that even if he remotely puts her in check, here comes “pass interference” from outsiders. Likewise, the minute she gets hot and horny for the next man, she’ll pull a “Hail Mary” (bait and switch) on the soon-to-be last pussy-whipped cuckold. This is where I have to say that LTRs are also like a laborious game of American Football.
Now, I get that the same rules apply in the military, the workforce, sports and gambling. There will be shit-tests and times when a person risks their entire livelihood. When familiarity arises, contempt occurs. Other times, the sexes stay together after seeing them at their worst. Why? Out of desperation, or enslavement. But if a person’s life is nothing more than a series of primal mind fucks, are they no better than a circus side-show animal who jumps through fiery hoops, jeopardizing it’s dignity for the amusement of others? This is similar to men (‘players’ included) who never enjoy life due to their obsession with women, family formation, or bringing to life a dream of cohesion via group economics.
Then, there are people in LTRs make side negotiations with the gamblers and other outsiders, to rig the game to work in their favor. Still in doubt? Well, why is it that ‘secret lovers’ and ‘side pieces’ know more about the supposed wives or husbands that their own spouses are blind to? Perhaps it’s because there’s no poker faces to maintain amidst being with those they creep with. With spouses, game faces are maintained for multiple reasons – and yes, Hollywood movies have also depicted this very accurately for decades. Again, it’s art imitating life.
…I’ll get into some examples of that in the next part of the series.